tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80993838707698576792023-11-15T05:25:20.450-08:00TaraFlyPhotosThe personal blog of fantasy artist TaraFly; her place on the web to rant and rave, share her opinions, and promote herself shamefully.TaraFlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06152682017660649976noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099383870769857679.post-14814047930948672932009-07-15T19:32:00.000-07:002009-07-15T20:04:28.423-07:00The Ad-Word Conspiracy, Bwahahaha<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/Sl6VUOiSGuI/AAAAAAAAAFs/yuOhqPLk5BA/s1600-h/miafairy2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 252px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/Sl6VUOiSGuI/AAAAAAAAAFs/yuOhqPLk5BA/s320/miafairy2.jpg" border="0" alt="baby child toddler and fairy cat"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5358884781349280482" /></a><br />For those of you with free e-mail accounts, like Gmail, which rely heavily on advertising... have you ever noticed that your e-mail providers always seem to choose ads which "relate" to your message or sender?<br /><i>God-mail?</i> The omniscient Spirit.com?<br /><br />Not exactly, as a note from Shannon would bring up ads for "Flights to Shannon, starting at $99"...<br /><br />Some people may believe this is part of the government's Conspiracy in conjunction with the criminal cesspool (which is the Internet) to rob you of your identity and steal your banking info by hacking into your personal e-mail, and gathering information, while hiding beneath the cloak of innocent seeming advertisements.<br />Of course, the government already has access to our private records, which we are required to disclose to them before we can get a license to sneeze.<br /><br />You are absolutely right, however, that someone is watching you online.<br /><br />You see, big companies pay BIG MONEY for search engines to advertise their products. They pay for relevant "AD WORDS" - either per impression (the ad appears in your results) or per click (when you're curious enough to click the link). Per click ads are more expensive, of course, because they are more likely to result in sales.<br /><br />Pertinent ad words, for me, might include "cat" "portrait" "painting" and "art"... and I might have to pay anywhere from 50¢ to $3-$4 per impression depending on the popularity of the word (what my competitors are willing to pay for it).<br />So you set a daily budget... I might be willing to spend $10 per day (at the rate of 50¢ per impression) to get my message "out there", and it's the job of the search engine to troll the vast Internet looking for victims to torture with these "relevant" ads. Anywhere advertisements are allotted space, such as free e-mail accounts and search result pages, the system picks out key ad words (those it feels are most relevant to you) and pops in a few paid ads. <br /><br />The system is a bit flawed, however, as it cannot tell whether my Shannon was a person, place, or thing. Hence the enticement from a travel agency, offering trips to Shannon for $99.00 (that was money wasted!)<br />If there are, in fact, human beings sitting in their parent's basement and reading our private conversations.... it seems like they're conning the big businesses who pay them for promotion, rather than any nefarious scheme to steal Shannon's chicken-salad recipe. <br /><br />Here are a few examples from my own e-mail correspondence proving that some marketing plans are hitting way off base:<br /><br /><br />A note from Shirley, resulted in this gem:<br /><br />"If you like Shirley, Try this free spiritual newsletter written via a deep trance channel" <br /><br />A Facebook reply to Lance's photo:<br /><br />"Huge selection, great deals on Lance items...<a href="http://yahoo.com">Yahoo.com</a>" <br />(what are Lance items? I clicked... and some slimy dude got paid for my curiosity!)<br />I discovered "Lances - Cheap Prices - Get the Best Value for Lances"<br />(cheap Lances turned out to be Lance Armstrong T-shirts)<br /><br />The name Crystal conjured up:<br /><br />"Crystal skulls from Caretaker of the Ancient Crystal Skull Synergy"<br />Eeew. Skulls...<br />Kinda creepy considering her message mentioned a recent surgery.<br /><br />The fantasy artist, Jasmine Becket-Griffith, brought up ads for her own website. <br />You go, girl!<br /><br />A reply from Beth about my coupon offer - resulted in "Free Grocery Coupons....", which was to be expected.<br />But also strangely enough:<br />"Howard Stern's New Wife? (Beth Ostrosky) Check her out Here. <A href="www.The Frisky.com">www.The Frisky.com</a>"<br />and also an ad for "Nipple Rings. <a href="www.BodyCandy.com">www.BodyCandy.com</a> Yummy! :P<br /><br />In another Facebook reply notice, someone remarked on a child's photograph, asking "What Lullaby is she singing?"<br />The answer: "Baby Born With Two Faces In India"<br /><br />Andy comments on my portfolio: "cool artwork. Love it" prompted this advice:<br />"How to Keep a Man in Love... Learn the Secret Psychology to Getting a Man Hooked for Good. from <a href="www.CatchHimandKeepHim.com">CatchHimandKeepHim.com</a>" <br />Was it his "love" comment? I wonder if that includes "getting a man hooked for good" on my artwork? Keep them coming back for more!<br /><br />Lily's comment about my cute kitty photo, had Google begging me to purchase water lilies - great selection of strong bloomers, beautiful varieties (pre-order for August shipping)<br />But I also received these oddities:<br />"Don't Be Like Gollum, Pick your favorite hero: Frodo or Harry Potter?" <br />and also <br />"Jump Into The Spirit World - You are One Jump Away from Changing Your Life Forever <a href="www.quantumjumping.com">www.quantumjumping.com</a>"<br /><br />From the mundane:<br />Jennifer Green's artwork brought up a slew of environmental ads for Green tea, green cleaners, solar panels, architecture firms specializing in sustainable/green practices...<br /><br />To the truly nonsensical:<br /><br />Jay R comments, "Congrats!" equals - Sarah Palin and Cheap Leaf Blowers.<br /><br /><br />Lesson to Companies purchasing ad words... save your money! Seriously, $100 or $100,000 worth of impressions won't convince me to "jump into the spirit world" or purchase a crystal skull.<br /><br /><br />However, I will occasionally get a chuckle at your expense:<br />My ultimate favorite ad word result from today's experiment must be the following:<br /><br />Lesliesosaap is following me now on Twitter... (I have no clue who she is, her profile was blank)<br />However, according to Gmail, she might deserve a closer look:<br />"Trust Ur Girl in Ukraine? Two Tests Reveal if U Can Trust Her Put Her to the Test Now... sponsored by <a href="www.RussianDatingGuide.com">www.RussianDatingGuide.com</a>"<br /><br />I groaned... more Russian Brides, right? I have a tendency to attract them all...<br /><br />But then it gave me this additional tip:<br />"look up Timothy's Email address, phone number, address and more"<br /><br />Is Leslie really Timothy?! Hmmm..... now THAT might be worth clicking on. :)TaraFlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06152682017660649976noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099383870769857679.post-91955335919183823212009-06-28T11:46:00.000-07:002009-06-28T12:03:30.886-07:00Seeing Pink at Subway<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/Ske-PRhHqsI/AAAAAAAAAFk/3fB7qX8KIaE/s1600-h/asiantemple3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 140px; height: 200px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/Ske-PRhHqsI/AAAAAAAAAFk/3fB7qX8KIaE/s200/asiantemple3.jpg" border="0" alt="custom asian fairy self-portrait by artist TaraFly"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5352455851762756290" /></a><br />I was sitting in Subway yesterday, having lunch, and watching people. Watching their feet, actually... it must be an unspoken rule for women to paint their toenails in the summer time. <br />I do not subscribe to that rule, nor to the rule that says sandals are warm-weather shoes, for I've worn them in the snow. <br />I've worn them with socks. <br />I would recommend layered socks if you're going to wear them in the snow. <br /><br />Every woman who walked into Subway - from the 9 year old girl in flip-flops, to her 60+ year old grandmother in orthopedic sandals, and the high-powered exec in a suit and open-toed high heels... they ALL had colored polish on their toenails.<br /><br />Why on earth would a person want to spend 20 minutes or more, spreading paint on their toes while breathing in toxic, gagging fumes? Waiting for each toe to dry....waiting....praying you don't bump it, smear it, have to re-paint it again. <br /><br />Is it for some kind of ritual? Mating? Bonding? <br />Does it give you confidence in the boardroom? <br />Does it make you feel thinner?<br />Does it give you something pretty to stare at while you're walking with your head down?<br />Do your toes feel sexy under the sheets, like they're wearing latex lingerie?<br /><br />Seriously...<br />I don't get it.<br /><br />I don't wear fingernail polish either, although I occasionally did in high school.<br />I'm trying to recall why. For glamour, I suppose.<br />For parties, I chose a color to match my dress. <br />Green...... Purple....... Blue.<br />I guess I should have painted my toes also, but the lights were low, and if you stare at people's feet in the dark, you'll trip over something.<br /><br />Now people want to feel glamorous with toenail polish, even if it doesn't match their clothes. All the better if it doesn't match! It's gotta be bright red or pink, to really draw someone's eyes - in case they weren't watching feet like myself.<br />I shouldn't be complaining, honestly. There could be much worse things to have my attention drawn toward. <br /><br />My feet felt naked inside my shoes... however, I decided against purchasing a tube of polish. I know what happens to things containing brushes in my family. <br />It's a tradition actually... coded into the genes... it cannot be helped.<br /><br />When I was seven or eight, I stole a bottle of White-Out and wrote my initials on all the furniture, and then got creative, stood on a tall stool, and doodled in the top corner of my father's bedroom door.<br /><br />At the very least, nail polish is a nauseating (yet - oh so shimmery!) way to decorate surfaces like VCRs, computer monitors, and book covers. It has a stained glass appearance on window panes, and also works excellently well as a permanent fabric paint.<br />Oh, the fun 2 children could have with nail polish!<br /><br />If I couldn't get remover to take it off the walls, I could always duplicate the effect across the entire room, and tell our landlord I was going for "Tropical Passion" treatment I saw on HGTV. <br />I've even painted the curtain fabric to match.<br />It'll help sell the apartment!<br /><br />I wonder if I could paint wall murals with nail polish?<br />... they have so many shades to choose from, it's almost like shopping at A.C.Moore.<br /><br />But back to people painting their toes...<br />If painting your toenails is becoming <i>de rigueur</i>, I think men should be required to do it as well.<br />Some crafty people should invent male nail polish, in shades of navy, hunter green, or burgundy. ...Don't get me started on why 8 out of 10 men would decorate their entire homes in hunter green/burgundy combinations if left to their own choosing.<br /><br />I've tried in vain to steer many a man away from those colors, while working in Domestics, attempting to broaden their scope of color... But I might have fared better just by surrendering and building a mock-up room with the drapes, valance, tie-backs, comforter set, sheets, dust ruffle, throw rug, and chair cushions... all in safe hunter/burgundy shades. (Okay, I got started on it anyway)<br /><br />Men should paint their toes. <br />Do it because it attracts women... (does it? I have no clue)<br />Do it because it makes you perform better in bed.... (again, I have no idea)<br />Do it because you'll look smarter...<br />Talk sharper...<br />Get a promotion...<br />Get less speeding tickets...<br />Win any argument...<br />Have the last laugh...<br />Earn the respect of everyone around you...<br />Oh, yeah, and you'll feel glamorous, too. Like a rock star.<br /><br />C'mon guys, let's see some happy, smiley, painted feet. <br />Don't disappoint me; you know I'll be watching you from my corner booth. ;)TaraFlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06152682017660649976noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099383870769857679.post-57560778512028066802009-06-22T10:30:00.001-07:002009-06-22T10:47:19.776-07:00Would You Like a Scratch of Tea, Sir?<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/Sj_BtEl8crI/AAAAAAAAAFc/1GF-lOjEKdo/s1600-h/kittycorn500.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 160px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/Sj_BtEl8crI/AAAAAAAAAFc/1GF-lOjEKdo/s200/kittycorn500.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350207862410605234" /></a><br />A comment made on <a href="http://www.twitter.com/taraflyphotos">Twitter</a> today, regarding people who spam you with links being likened to insurance salesmen (which is annoyingly true, BTW).. had me chuckling over an old memory involving my personal <br />experience with a salesman. It inspired me to write a blog to share the story with my three loyal followers. :)<br /><br />A few years ago, when I was married to my first husband and living in the mountain country of West Virginia, a salesman for Aflac insurance came to my humble door. I was the only human at home, but I took pity on him and let him in. <br /><br /><i>"You what?!"</i> my trio of readers gasp in alarm.<br /><br />Yes, yes, 'tis true. I let the strange man into my house. Now, granted I would never consider doing such a brainless thing these days, with two toddlers in the house... especially in the city, where our neighbors just had a shoot-out yesterday evening, leaving our parking lot crawling with police cruisers. (Perhaps being evicted would be a blessing!)<br /><br />But then, I wasn't thinking as a mother, but rather as an independent young adult woman who feared no man... who was willing to fly halfway across the world (by herself) to spend a week in Europe with a "friend" she'd met online. Who turned out to be very pleasant, and not at all like the lascivious murderer my mother imagined (when I left her the address and phone number where I'd be staying).<br /><br />We lived in a small, rural community with very inquisitive neighbors (the kind who call you ten minutes after seeing an "unknown" vehicle leaving your driveway, to say "I was fixin' to bring y'all over some home-made apple pie, but I seen y'all had guests." hint hint.) Plus, it was raining heavily that day, and we didn't have a roof on our front porch. It was the charitable thing to do. <br /><br /><br />When I mentioned that I was "the only human home", I should've added that my then-husband and I shared our home with 16 cats. Not strays, mind you. They were all named and accounted for: The original trio - <b>Barnabus, Collin</b> (who turned out to be female), and <b>Keiko</b>.<br />And their 12 offspring from 3 litters (before they were fixed, they had a manage-a-trois) : <b>Akila, Nemo,</b> my beloved <b>Dominic!, Dimitri, Aeris, Pemberley, Jake, Arthur, Lancelot, Jenny, Fluffy-Poof, Dartagnan,</b> and <b>Rankin</b>... Rankin was named thus because he had horribly foul gas. (Yes, we were hill-billies who identified our cats by their farts!)<br />So I wasn't really "alone", due to the torrential downpour, all the cats had decided to remain indoors. They were a very curious bunch.<br />I have a few old photographs showing them clustering around the front door when Rich was returning home from grocery shopping. He had difficulty opening the door, because the huge cat mass was pressing against it from the opposite side.<br /><br />Anyway... I invited this Aflac salesman in, and he proceeded to lay his briefcase on the couch - dig out some paperwork showing insurance rates and crap, launching into his spiel about the possibility of my future non-work-related injuries preventing me from getting compensation.<br />Meanwhile, the cats had detected a visitor, and we making their way into the living room, in small groups... to check him out.<br />His prepared, very-well-rehearsed sales pitch started faltering once his eyes began flickering over the heads of cats...everywhere... attempting to do the math in his head. Losing count and having to start over, as they jumped onto the couch to sniff his briefcase, and wrapped around his legs. <br />Finally he stopped speaking altogether and just stared at them all. I took that opportunity to half-heartedly thank him for his trouble, but that I wasn't interested in purchasing additional insurance. <br /><br /><i>"B..bu...but wh..what if.... What if your cats ATTACK you... and you go the hospital from severe scratches and infection.. and are laid up for weeks without work??"</i><br />I laughed out loud at his creativity. Or was it fear?<br /><i>"That's ridiculous."</i> I replied. <i>"They would never hurt me."</i><br />I couldn't resist adding, <br /><i>" ...They'd only attack <b>strangers</b>."</i> <br /><br />Needless to say, he left abruptly. Almost RAN across our muddy, gravel driveway to his vehicle. <br />Hopefully, he informed all of his buddies not to bother knocking on the Crazy Cat Lady's door, unless they wanted to test the reliability of their own insurance claims. :)TaraFlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06152682017660649976noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099383870769857679.post-65443718151102349842009-06-17T11:07:00.000-07:002009-06-17T11:41:11.958-07:00Captain's Blog, Stardate 313540<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/SjkzIeQqZ0I/AAAAAAAAAFU/4r79VmhThCU/s1600-h/adamaexample.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 160px; height: 200px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/SjkzIeQqZ0I/AAAAAAAAAFU/4r79VmhThCU/s200/adamaexample.jpg" border="0" alt="draft Dominic portrait Admiral Adama Battlestar Galactica"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5348362253134096194" /></a><br /><br /><p>We got the shock of the month when we came home yesterday to discover a ReMax Sale sign on the front porch of our building.</p><br /><p><br />I can't say "shock of our lives" or even "shock of the year", but it ranks up there alongside receiving a $500 electric bill for a neighbor's usage.<br />The landlord actually stopped by yesterday morning (sans sign) to deliver a storm window that was missing and needed to be replaced. He never mentioned anything to us. But everything about this move seems a bit backwards... from not allowing us to move in until the former occupants (who were squatters at this point) vacated, to not having the building inspected prior to our moving in. We had to repaint any exposed wood and have electrical wiring replaced AFTER we'd settled here, because an inspection failed.<br />(He actually may have gotten into some hot water with the state for allowing the building to be occupied in it's condition)<br /><br />We had so many plans to renovate this place - from building a floor-to-ceiling bookcase in the dining room, to a bathroom storage unit, and decorative radiator covers - but now we're sitting in the twilight zone, waiting to see who buys the property and what their intentions are.<br />If they decide to raise the rent, we'll leave... and most likely, the couple upstairs will too. Joe doesn't want to continue painting or even consider installing new carpeting solely for the new landlord's benefit. I'm worried about what will become of our security deposit, because we can't really afford to cough up 2 months worth of rent on short notice, if we decide not to stay.<br />I try not to dwell on negative outcomes... after all, there were 50 pages of rental properties for sale in Hagerstown, according to ReMax's website yesterday. I think many landlords are trying to cut vacant property losses, and I seriously doubt a new landlord would want to jeopardize his steady income by pissing off the current tenants. Would he?<br /><br />We had discussed, at one time, our desire to purchase the building ourselves... and perhaps The Fates overheard us and decided to grant us the opportunity. However, we are nowhere close to being ready for such a large investment, unless She decides to grant us a generous amount of money as well.</p><br /><p><br />My third portrait in the Regency series is almost complete - I should have her done by tonight and listed, kids' willing.<br />I have two other projects with deadlines to finish before this weekend is over. A customer's custom portrait (that I'm waiting on the photograph to be sent) and a personal gift to Joe for FD. <br /><br />I don't typically celebrate holidays, except for the benefit of our kids - who are young enough to get a kick out of fireworks, Christmas trees, Easter baskets, and all the hoopla.<br />I recall getting into an argument with a friend (whose religion forbade holiday celebrations) and defended the traditions by saying that our interpretations and intentions of said traditions were the most important part; the decorations themselves held no special significance. I.E. bringing a Christmas tree into the living room didn't automatically make you a devil worshipper..<br />Now if you also erected a Satanic altar beneath the tree and chanted some anti-hymns in ghoulish Latin... One of these days, I actually will paint my vision of what a Satanic Christmas tree would look like (and post it somewhere anonymously of course) ;)<br /><br />Anyway... I wasn't intending to veer off onto a tangent, but now as I look back and recall how passionately I fought to keep traditions in my home without sacrificing my former morals (along with the goats, babies, cats...) it seems funny that after all these years, I'm no longer interested in participating except in spirit. I believe now, as I did then, that the importance lies in honoring our families, our deities, our patriotism, our freedoms... every day, and that these calendar holidays simply call into focus these things we may have taken for granted throughout the year.</p><br /><p><br />I have decided to paint a portrait for Joe as a gift... even though he knows how deeply I appreciate him as a partner and father to our beasts. They would appreciate him too, if they understood the meaning of the word. They do know that he provides their food, diapers, toys, television, and plenty of hours of attention, bath-times, and hugs. They probably aren't aware of how drastically their lives would be affected if he weren't with us, and hopefully they can grow up in ignorance of that possibility.<br /><br />So I plan to paint a portrait... which will serve as a tangible reminder that I'm thinking of him, always, even if I seem to take our lives together for granted. In the back of my mind, I'm ever conscious of the fact that Joe is the reason we're all here as a family. He is the captain guiding our ship towards whatever future The Fates have in store, and he's the source of the hope I carry with me - that wherever we lay down our roots, will be our Home, and my heart will reside there.<br /><br />So I'm planning to paint a portrait... of Dominic dressed as Admiral Adama, leader of the orphan fleet, from the extremely popular remake of Battlestar Galactica. (Joe's favorite show) I have him drawn up and ready to paint. This will, naturally, be considered "fan art" as the show is obviously copyrighted.... so no prints for sale; this is strictly personal. </p><br /><p><br />We're still searching for our Earth.</p><br /><p></p>TaraFlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06152682017660649976noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099383870769857679.post-70111932569675055942009-06-04T17:45:00.000-07:002009-06-04T18:24:50.360-07:00Chibbif and Chili, with Margins - please!<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/Sihv3CgafrI/AAAAAAAAAFM/9KMXpqJoUfE/s1600-h/fandom_resize.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/Sihv3CgafrI/AAAAAAAAAFM/9KMXpqJoUfE/s200/fandom_resize.jpg" border="0" alt="cat fantasy portrait"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343643949231406770" /></a><br /><br /><i>So, how do you fix your chibbif? And which is better: butter or margin?</i><br /><br /><p>These are questions that I have pondered since leaving work today. Yes, I have returned to my former place of employment on a very part-time basis.<br />I relinquished my position as grocery manager to a new sucker, and have gladly taken up the glorified mantle of in-stock associate, so that I can bring home my 50¢ every two weeks... my 16-hour per week schedule allows me to play "stay at home mom" and forgo daycare. <br />I enjoy spending a few hours stocking shelves these days, knowing the weight of the "world" (or at least, the skid of tuna fish) isn't resting solely on my shoulders anymore... I can now sit back and observe the store's operations with a detached curiosity, and of course, continue to find new fodder for my warped amusement. :)</p><br /><br /><p>Such was the case today, with the chibbifs and margins. The answer to those questions can be found at the bottom of this blog. ;)<br /><br /><br />Now, I will be one of the first people to acknowledge there are some totally clueless associates working retail these days... I've worked with a few myself, and I sincerely do feel your pain. However, speaking as one who doesn't employ a local translator or carry a pocket guide to "foreign" languages in my back pocket... the next time you receive a vacant stare or confused response from an employee trying to help you - take my advice: <br /> <br />• <i>Listen to yourself.</i> Evaluate how clearly you are pronouncing your words. <br />• <i>Be specific.</i> Just saying <i>"Where the beans at??"</i> (in your best redneck interpretation) doesn't cut it these days, when most grocery stores sell a variety of "beans" in different areas: canned beans, dried beans, fresh beans, even candy beans.</p><br /><br /><p>For example:<br /><br />A few months ago, I was approached by a woman who (I could have <i>sworn</i>) asked me,<br /><i>"What aisle are the chili beans in?"</i><br /><br />Although I'm not a chili expert, I do know that a variety of beans can be used to make chili. Kidney beans seem to be the most popular with our customers, with Hanover being the best seller of the canned beans; Hormel is a favorite in the ready-made "chili with beans" group, and still others - the "purists" - purchase dried beans to make chili from scratch. <br /><br />So, in my effort to be helpful by narrowing the field, I asked:<br /><i>"would you like canned beans, or dried beans in a bag?"</i><br />To which she replied, <i>"in a bag."</i><br />Ah, a purist, I thought - leading her to the Aisle marked "Pasta and Rice" in large signage.</p><br /><p><br />At this point, I should have taken her directly to the beans and placed the bag in her hands, but I guess my customer service skills don't extend that far, or else the aisle was crowded... I do remember giving her explicit directions:<br /><i>"Halfway down the aisle, on the left... the dried beans are beside the boxes of Uncle Ben's white rice."</i> She nodded with understanding, and made her way through the crowd.<br />I returned to my aisle, and resumed my boring job, assuming the interaction was over.... however, shortly thereafter (30 seconds? 2 minutes? I couldn't tell you now...) the woman returns shaking her head.<br /><I>"I wanted</i> candied <i>chili beans."</i></p><br /><br />Huh??<br /><br /><i>Candied</i> chili beans? <br /><br />What the he-- <br /><br />OH! Okay. *without my pocket translator, I'm clueless*<br /><br />She wanted <i>JELLY BEANS!</i> ... Candy Jelly Beans.<br /><br /><br />So, of course, as I take her by the hand to the Candy Aisle, I'm kicking my own butt... until it occurs to me, <br /><i>"Why am I blaming myself for the miscommunication?"</i><br />After all, I <b>did</b> ask - <i>"Do you want canned beans or dried beans?"</i> <br />56% of customers would have stopped me and replied, <br /><i>"No, you misunderstood me."</i> <br />Secondly, I led her to the Pasta aisle, and guided her to a location beside the rice. 43% of customers would have stopped me at THIS point to say, <br /><i>"No, you misunderstood me."</i><br />Another .9% would've stalked off grumbling about my stupidity, and questioning their own intelligence for assuming I would "know anything".<br />And that leaves the final .1% of customers like this lady of mine - who actually <b>believe</b> that jelly beans <i>might</i> come in cans, and may possibly be found displayed with <i>pasta and rice</i>. <br /></p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Answers: I personally don't "fix chibbif" <i>(cook chipped beef)</i>; I prefer my beef "fixed" as huge slabs of steak. And although popular consensus believes that "margin" <i>(margarine)</i> is healthier than butter, doctors recommend using olive or canola oil instead. Personally, give me butter! Arteries be damned.:P<br /><br />TaraFlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06152682017660649976noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099383870769857679.post-3029464161711233502009-06-03T12:52:00.000-07:002009-06-10T09:47:24.409-07:00I Thrive Best Under Pressure<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/SibYm4hhRFI/AAAAAAAAAFE/4Fjct_Hm0L4/s1600-h/janesample.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/SibYm4hhRFI/AAAAAAAAAFE/4Fjct_Hm0L4/s320/janesample.jpg" border="0" alt="rough drawing for regency cat portrait"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343196170441278546" /></a><br />Or so my Astrology sign claims... it seems that whenever my life begins to get easy, I throw a wrench into my own wheels.<br /><p><br />I've finally finished my Mr. Darcy Dommie portrait, and he is listed in my shop, <br /><a href="http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=25921481">www.taraflyphotos.etsy.com</a>. My next project in the Regency Cat series will be this beauty, shown above in the rough beginning stage.<br />It's based on a piece of my own modelling stock from our regency photo shoot. You can view the original on my Deviantart account <a href="http://tarafly.deviantart.com/art/JA8-83716487">www.tarafly.deviantart.com</a> . My plans for this piece include handmade bookmarks, using my heavy decorative paper (and possibly the satin ribbons I've utilized for my greeting cards). That's one the main reasons why I chose the reading pose.</p><br /><p><br />The bookmark concept came to me while I was trying to brainstorm ways to promote my artwork offline. Aside from the usual ways: business cards, door magnets, T-shirts, postcards... I've done all that. I've even purchased a nice travel mug for my French Vanilla coffee addiction, with my signature Fire-Breathing Dommie printed onto it, in the hopes that someone might comment on it.<br />However, artwork isn't like jewelry or fashion, craft categories that are easily marketed. Countless times in the forums, I've given the advice to jewelry and accessory artisans: <i>wear your stuff! Give your necklaces as gifts for friends to wear!</i><br />But how do I market my own stuff? I considered pendant jewelry... even though I don't normally wear necklaces and such (they get in the way - anytime I bend down, they're hanging in my face). I could cope with the inconvenience if it meant showcasing my work for potential customers. Artwork printed on pendants and earrings is small and difficult to see.<br />Although I'm still looking for viable ideas for self-promotion, the one thing I realized is that I normally carry a book with me. I'm considering book covers as well, however my books are various sizes - from paperback pocket-sized to large hardcovers - so creating templates to fit all possible books might be time consuming. In the meantime, I'll begin with beautiful, eye-catching, hand painted bookmarks! That way, I can lay it beside me on the table while I'm reading or eating my lunch. When I get the first prototype designed, I'll begin selling them too. :)</p><br /><p><br />Which leads me into another heavy decision, one that I've been pondering over for months now. I began my business selling photomanipulated artwork - hence the "TaraFlyPhotos" moniker. Actually, I began with custom portraits, but expanding on my artwork under the title wasn't difficult. I've been gradually phasing out the fantasy portraits, although I still occasionally do them for people. I was content to focus on manipulations and expand my knowledge of Photoshop, making fine-art Giclee prints of my finished pieces to sell.<br />However, in the last few months that I've spent on Etsy, and conversing with traditional artists on other forums, it leaves me with an unfulfilled feeling that can only be satisfied with a paint tray and some brushes of my own. I stayed away from traditional art for so long, because it's difficult to paint around my children without them interfering or making a mess. A simple project like Darcy Dommie takes days to finish, because I'm forced to put everything away when the kids wake up.<br /><br />I've started feeding the beast, now, and I feel I should continue ... but it leaves me wondering where my business is headed. I suppose I can do a combination of both - manips and traditional - or else I'd have to reinvent my entire structure, including my business name (as "photos" doesn't seem to imply what I'm creating anymore). I have alot of money, time, and legal crap (such as licenses) already tied up in "TaraFlyPhotos" so scraping it completely doesn't make sense.</p><br /><p><br />Perhaps ...and I'm just brainstorming out loud, so excuse me... if I created a subsidiary called "TaraFlyArt" - "a division of TaraFlyPhotos". ??? I had considered phasing out my entire Giclee collection (of photomanipulated pieces) to replace with hand painted works as I create them, but what if instead I open another shop devoted to traditional art, and keep them separate in the future?<br />*sigh* Just when I thought I could concentrate on one branch and scale back... I somehow talk myself into even MORE WORK!!! Why do I do this to myself? Why????<br />I can answer that. It's because I've known since childhood that I would eventually manage my own business (someday...) and coupled with this Capricorn-esque curse to over-work myself and micro-manage every detail, I can't allow myself to step back and let someone else do all the work. So, I become a self-promoting artist... instead of opening a normal business (i.e. a craft store or bookshop) and hiring employees, I want a career where everything from start to finish depends on ME!<br /><br />I will most likely drive myself and my family nuts before this is over... unfortunately, my family will probably succumb first.</p>TaraFlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06152682017660649976noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099383870769857679.post-11127889064476323502009-05-31T14:43:00.000-07:002009-06-10T09:34:56.147-07:00Projects and a Feature<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/SiL6zE1RiqI/AAAAAAAAAEk/biCaJkME1aY/s1600-h/darcy1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/SiL6zE1RiqI/AAAAAAAAAEk/biCaJkME1aY/s200/darcy1.jpg" border="0" alt="Mr. Darcy cat portrait, work in progress"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5342107863392291490" /></a><br />I've been contemplating a new blog since last Wednesday, but I've been consumed by my latest project - painting acrylic portraits of cats in Regency dress. The first one I completed was "Red Coat Dominic", wearing a British 19th century uniform. He reminded me of Col. Brandon in the portrait, but devilish Dom swaggers more like Mr. Wickham. :D He's for sale right now in my Etsy shop <A href="http://taraflyphotos.etsy.com">www.taraflyphotos.etsy.com</a>. <br />Here's my latest work-in-progess... I've actually completed a bit more of him, but my camera batteries were dead this afternoon (too many Etsy photo shoots!) so while I'm waiting for them to recharge, I'll discuss another excellent Etsy seller:<br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/SiL7QgbA0rI/AAAAAAAAAEs/H5uLkVneU_M/s1600-h/koipendant_starless.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 160px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/SiL7QgbA0rI/AAAAAAAAAEs/H5uLkVneU_M/s200/koipendant_starless.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5342108369014543026" /></a><br /><br />I think I first discovered <a href="http://starless.etsy.com">Starless.etsy.com</a> through an Etsy-finds e-mail, and when I saw her delightful <A href="http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=25450492">koi pendants</a>, I had to check out her shop.<br /><br />She creates the koi, water, lilypads, and flowers all from polymer clay.. look at the lovely pattern of the sparkling water; she rolled all those strands of clay by hand. Clay is something I've always been fascinated with, but haven't used since I was a little girl. Seeing works like this inspire me to dip my paws back into it... Works like Starless' however take real talent.<br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/SiL7i-rfu7I/AAAAAAAAAE0/tFTd51a4tjs/s1600-h/koibox_starless.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 160px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/SiL7i-rfu7I/AAAAAAAAAE0/tFTd51a4tjs/s200/koibox_starless.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5342108686374386610" /></a><br /><br /><br />Just take a look at this <a href="http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=25483819">lovely jewelry box</a> with the clay koi pond cover! Just imagine the hours of meticulous work that went into sculpting all those details! It's the loveliest jewelry box I've ever seen.<br /><br />She recently finished college with a degree in biology, and says that selling on Etsy is a fun hobby while she searches for a "real job"... I believe she's already found her calling and just doesn't realize it yet. ;) There are too many biologists in the world today. We need more koi pendant sculpters!<br /><br />An update on my last blog: I finally purchased some soap from <a href="http://seaspritesoaps.etsy.com">Seaspritesoaps.etsy.com</a> <br />and I must say, it was well worth it! She even sent me free samples. Whoo hoo! The Honeysuckle soap smelled delightful, but more importantly, it kept my rough hands soft for hours afterwards. :)<br /><br />And just in case my two readers may worry that my cynical, sarcastic view of the world has waned in the glow of Etsy-goodness, it hasn't! Fear not! I have plenty of ravings scratching from within my skin, trying desparately to break free and run rampant across the pages of this blog... I've merely kept them tranquilized for the last couple days with large vats of coffee and Capt'n Crunch Cereal.TaraFlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06152682017660649976noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099383870769857679.post-49666864188674956332009-05-20T14:51:00.000-07:002009-06-10T09:33:21.533-07:00Let's Shop Etsy! Wednesday May 20th<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/ShR8DWRL39I/AAAAAAAAAEc/HX2DzaQjGKc/s1600-h/honeysuckle.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338027855299993554" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/ShR8DWRL39I/AAAAAAAAAEc/HX2DzaQjGKc/s200/honeysuckle.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />When it comes to skin-care and beauty products, I have always been extremely low maintenance. A bar of cheap, store-brand soap and hot tap water cleans my face and body just fine! Nevertheless, I'm a sucker for a good suckle... honey-suckle, that is. It's a difficult fragrance to find, and after searching once for a honeysuckle perfume, I stumbled across a wonderful body lotion (from Bath and Body Works) which was being discontinued. Just my luck! I purchased the last two bottles, kicking myself that it had taken me 26 years to finally step inside a yuppie boutique store ...and I was too late!<br /><br />I had no intention of purchasing soap when I logged into Etsy this morning, to check my own store stats. But a stroll into the Community forums to read the latest drama brought me to one particular thread, and a seller whose avatar caught my eye.<br />Her image of a digitally rendered pixie character, and her shop title - <a href="http://http//www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5207922">SeaSpriteSoaps</a>,<br />made me curious enough to check her out.<br /><br />The first listing to jump off the screen and bite me - right here, on my nose - was her $5 bar of <a href="http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=24940808">Wild Honeysuckle soap</a>! With its twirled patterns of rose, yellow, and cream, it looked good enough to eat... like ice-cream sherbet. Almost too good to subject to the cruel fate of slowly dissolving in my bath tub.<br />She made this beautiful piece by hand... using what soap manufacturers refer to as<br />"the cold compress" method, which means absolutely nothing to me.<br />I just knew it was pretty to look at, and probably smelled even better!<br /><br />Browsing a bit further, I found a listing for <a href="http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=24572708">A Soap Sampler</a>, 16 small slices of different colored, fragrant soaps to test. About 1/4" thick, they were similar to the bars you'd find in hotel rooms, but much more appealing.. this sampler is only $9.00 and I knew immediately it would make a great gift basket idea! Simply find a cute woven basket and line it with fabric, arrange these little scrumptious soaps inside... perhaps shrink wrap it and tie with ribbon... Voila! The price was perfect, the gift unique, and I was getting excited thinking about the possibilities of recipients.<br /><br />The following scents are generally included (sometimes varying due to availability):<br />Bay Rum Spice<br />Blood Orange Patchouli<br />Calabrian Violet & Bergamot<br />Caribbean Dreams<br />Celtic Moonspice<br />Coconut Lemongrass<br />Gardenia<br />Lemon Verbena<br />Polar Express<br />Secrets of India<br />Tangerine Lavender<br />Tassie Lavender<br />Vanilla de Madagascar<br />Wild Honeysuckle<br />Winter Solstice<br />Wisteria<br /><br />I've been blessed to be allergy-free, and can slather whatever I like onto my skin, but for those of you who stand in the aisles and carefully read ingredient labels, all of her soaps contain the following:<br />olive oil, coconut oil, palm oil, castor oil and shea butter, plus fragrance or essential oils. Some soaps also "include cosmetic mica or FD&C approved colorants and dried botanicals."<br />Each listing will include it's own ingredient list.<br /><br />Stephanie of Seaspritesoaps, like many of us Etsy shop owners (including myself), is a wife and mother (with two children of her own, and three grown stepchildren), she is living the dream many of us share... to make money doing what we love! She's a retired clinical psychologist - (I love messing with their minds!) who lives in Naples, Florida. She was taught the craft several years ago, by a friend, and immediately took to it like...soap to water. (my bad pun, not hers)<br />In her profile, she states:<br />"I love being an 'alchemist' who makes soaps, creams, balms and other useful and helpful potions with my own two hands. I love especially the creamy richness of handmade soaps, and the fact that they don't strip my skin of oils. In fact, I was amazed the first time I washed my hands with my own soap and found that my skin wasn't tight or dry, and I didn't need to use hand lotion. Even my husband noticed how wonderful these soaps are on your skin, and now he shaves with my soap. My kids love it too. We haven't used commercial soap in years."<br /><br />Well, yeah! If you can make your own, why waste your time at Wal-Mart? :)<br /><br />**<a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5207922">www.Seaspritesoaps.etsy.com</a> also includes lip balms, salves, and perfumes.**<br /><br /><br />Her talent for needlework led her to open a second Etsy shop <a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5527090">FaeryKnots.etsy.com</a>,<br />with a small selection of cute, crocheted fairy dolls made from sparkling yarn.<br />She also has an interesting and informative blog: <A href="http://heartcrafts.blogspot.com">www.Heartcrafts.blogspot.com</a>.TaraFlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06152682017660649976noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099383870769857679.post-3575086992122308192009-05-20T13:23:00.000-07:002009-05-20T13:40:26.670-07:00Diamond in the Rough<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/ShRqmBG1jsI/AAAAAAAAAEU/cX_RtAwULgc/s1600-h/jakelions500.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/ShRqmBG1jsI/AAAAAAAAAEU/cX_RtAwULgc/s200/jakelions500.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338008659705564866" /></a><br />I should probably be updating my two readers on the status of our recent move, and how we're settling in... The landlord did provide us with another stove and refrigerator. Joe is painting the walls, and has plans to build a floor-to-ceiling bookcase in the dining room, which has now transformed itself into my art studio. We were originally going to utilize it for the children's play area, but the entire house has been taken over by toys, and we haven't had the manpower to defeat them and force their retreat. So, art studio it is. We have yet to get neighbors for the upstairs half, although the landlord has been showing the place to a steady stream of prospects. The layout was so unconventional and cramped, I can understand the hesitation. Fortunately, both were vacant when we signed our lease, so we were able to choose the space better suited to us. :)<br />We were actually musing about purchasing the entire building from our landlord, if he continues to encounter problems renting. I've developed a bit of a crush on this house, even though it IS ungodly outdated and not without it's share of faults. There is much character in this place, from the glass-panelled French doors in the dining room, to the 10' high ceilings and knotty, pine cabinets. We'll think about it, when renewing our lease, if all goes well and we want to stay. It would be nice to convert the entire house back into a single-family residence, as it was intended to be.<br />My maternity leave officially ended on Saturday, and I've returned to work two days per week: Thursdays and Saturdays. Although it was odd at first getting accustomed to a new, lower-grade position, it was also incredibly liberating. I didn't sense a loss that some claim to feel when being voluntarily demoted. I don't judge myself by my 9-to-5 job status, but rather by goals I've set for myself. Currently, I'm steadily reaching my milestones in this creative business venture to become a full-time artist. I hope, by the end of this year, to be making enough money through my art sales to consider myself self-supporting and therefore feel less guilty about quitting my part-time job altogether. I'm enjoying the time I spend with my family, although most days I find myself glued to the computer for hours; working on my websites, networking, or creating digital art. I feel particularly guilty doing this, but at least there is communication and companionship to be shared, even though I may not always be giving them my undivided attention. I can easily attend to their needs, and take (many!) breaks throughout the day to be with them. Most of the time, Jacob is napping on my lap! Can't ask for a better job than that. Juggling family and work, now that I primarily work from home, is a challenge that I'm working to overcome.<br />I have so many irons in the fire at this moment, project wise, and I can't seem to get caught up. I'm excited however about two latest projects - my handmade greeting cards, each featuring a photo of my art, and my regency cat portraits. I've started with Dominic as a British "red coat" soldier, and will be adding gentlemen and ladies to the collection soon! You can check out my progress on my Facebook fanpage. I've uploaded pictures to share with my fans!<br />I've also decided to begin a weekly series on Etsy sellers whose shops catch my eye.This will also, hopefully, help me to keep focused on updating this blog for my two dear readers. :)<br />So, I am off to a clean page in Notepad to write my first Etsy Seller promo!TaraFlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06152682017660649976noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099383870769857679.post-1320302723975842082009-04-27T13:01:00.000-07:002009-04-27T13:21:48.470-07:00The Lee of the Stone?<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/SfYSO9LOvhI/AAAAAAAAAD0/WhOWNeYy4hw/s1600-h/ghosttownsmall.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5329467257188695570" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="TaraFlyPhotos' fantasy art, custom portraits, and gifts" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/SfYSO9LOvhI/AAAAAAAAAD0/WhOWNeYy4hw/s200/ghosttownsmall.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />I'm amazed at the housing situation in our area... the quality of rentals on the market, what actually passes for a "habitable apartment". In the last 10 years of my renting life, I have never encountered such a wide variety of trashy, dilapidated, poor excuses for an apartment or townhouse as I have in the last few weeks.<br />Our lease expired a short time ago, and we gave our notice to continue on a monthly basis until we could find a more suitable place. Our former apartment wasn't a complete dump; on the surface - with 3 bedrooms, 2 full baths, and 1,500 square feet - it seemed luxurious. There were however maintenance issues, neighbor issues, and of course, landlord issues. (On www.RateMyApartment.com, our complex received a <i>1.9 out of 10</i>, and was one of the worst rated in the area. We didn't know this prior to moving in, as it was newly built).<br />Case in point: I was three days late paying my rent one month. Yes, for shame! I paid the 5% late fee, got my receipt, and put the ordeal behind me.... until a few days later, when I received a court summons in the mail.<br />It claimed our Management was trying to EVICT us for failure to pay rent. I called to complain, and was told to <i>"ignore the notice... yes, we have your payment..."</i> I finally looked at the date on the notice, and it was filed<br />ONE day after our rent was due. They were ready to evict an otherwise good tenant for being ONE day late??<br />I have plenty of horror stories to tell about appliances breaking (brand new appliances, supposedly), the problems with our heat and A/C, the $500 monthly electric bills (because local maintenance men were reading the meters wrong)...<br />When we gave them our notice, and expected to be charged an extra $20 - maybe $50 - extra rent for a monthly lease, as other apartments have done in the past; instead we were charged an extra $150 per month! Our rent was almost $1,000 to begin with.<br /><br />Anyhow, it doesn't matter, because as of 4/30 we will no longer be tenants there. With my decision to cut my hours drastically in order to quit using daycare, we needed to find a cheaper place to live. We were quite ready to make sacrifices: perhaps downsizing to a 2-bedroom, 1-bath, with tiny closets and less cupboard/counter top space..<br />We knew with our optimal budget, we wouldn't be seeing another 1,500 sq Foot apartment. I was prepared, or so I thought.<br /><br />We looked at a house: it hadn't been renovated since the early 1900's. On the plus side, it had large rooms and a nice backyard. It also had buckling floorboards - actually rippling like waves on the Atlantic. There were holes in the floor of the second story (you could see the room below), the kitchen "cabinets" had no shelves<br />or bottoms, the windows were cracked...I can't even remember all the flaws; they combined into one nightmarish blur in my memory. Although for some time afterward,<br />when viewing places even worse (and more expensive!), I dreamed about buying that home and renovating it.<br /><br />We looked at a townhouse: $650 per month. The doors were missing on the bedrooms. The previous tenants "stole" the doors, explained the landlord. <i>"Are you planning to replace them?" "No,"</i> he replied, <i>"but you can install<br />folding screens or hang some drapes in the doorway for privacy."</i> Excuse me?? The stairs also lacked a railing on the open side... so that was a definite safety issue. The chain link fence outside had gaping holes torn out, with twisted wires poking everywhere, and the entire thing was completely rusted. I asked about the<br />fence, and hinted that it was a safely liability: <i>"Kids could get tetanus from scratching themselves on those rusty, exposed wires.."</i> His solution: <i>"You can install a wooden fence up against it, if you want."</i><br /><br />We found another small townhouse, that I almost considered, except that it was located directly beside a Mexican bar, where supposed gang activity was reported by police on a regular basis. A nice place to raise small children.<br />I couldn't convince Joe to think "outside the bar".<br /><br />We finally found a place last week, that seemingly had only minor cosmetic problems... outdated, worn shag carpet and an awful paint job. We asked the landlord whether we'd be allowed to repaint and install new carpet, and he<br />acted agreeable, although he didn't offer to reimburse us for the improvements. We just shrugged and felt grateful that we had a decent place at last (and were free to customize it). We went over the lease agreement, signed, and breathed a sigh of relief.<br />The other tenants were in the process of moving out, and we had to wait until 4/25-26 to begin our own move. Needless to say, we were shocked to walk into the kitchen Saturday to discover the appliances were missing. No stove, no fridge... I called the landlord, and he has yet to reply. Nowhere in our lease, or in our verbal discussions while touring the place, was there any mention that the appliances wouldn't convey.<br />Perhaps they were "stolen" as well, but he hasn't called to offer replacing them.<br />Seriously, how can they rent a place under "habitable conditions" without a fridge for storing perishable food, or a stove to cook upon?<br />I can hear the man now: <i>"Well, you can microwave canned soup and Ramen noodles, if you'd like."</i><br />Uh, no, we'd like our rent and deposit back, so we can continue living in this wheat-hole managed, poorly-constructed "new" complex that DOES have a stove and fridge.<br /><br /><br />It reminds me of the recent J.C.Penney catalog we received. Do you realize they sell desks without legs? Basically, you're paying for a large plank of wood ($149.00) that you can "customize" with legs (set of 4 - $79.00) or 2-3 drawer cabinets. Also the organizers and tray for keyboard are sold separately.<br />How convenient! I've been in the market for a desk, and could never find one without legs or supports of some kind.<br />I kept pestering the sales staff: <i>"Why can't you just sell the freaking wood top??"</i> Well, JCPenney finally did their marketing homework and discovered<br />what the customer really wanted. The ability to choose: legs or no legs...<br /><br />Fortunately, when my son was born April 2nd, they delivered him legs and all... if they had given me the choice, given the pain I was experiencing, I might've opted to cut the labor short and forgo all the added extremities.<br />Of course, I was probably billed for his legs and arms separately - somewhere in the secret medical coding...<br />The price they quote you is just for the head.TaraFlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06152682017660649976noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099383870769857679.post-40874804980490370652009-03-10T05:45:00.000-07:002009-03-10T06:16:08.015-07:00How Much Are We Worth?<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/SbZn0Xba35I/AAAAAAAAABI/yXuC8CVIj6U/s1600-h/letterprint.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 160px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/SbZn0Xba35I/AAAAAAAAABI/yXuC8CVIj6U/s200/letterprint.jpg" border="0" alt="The Letter - TaraFlyPhoto's Custom Portraits"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5311546959869960082" /></a><br />I was sitting in the break-room yesterday perusing an old newspaper (old, meaning, earlier than Monday's edition) and came across an article follow-up to a fatal crash story involving a bus transporting senior men to a sporting event and a tractor trailer.<br />In the initial story, it related the events of the crash... how the driver was charged with negligence (among other things) for crossing in front of the 18-wheeler, causing the accident, which left multiple people injured and one man dead.<br /><br />In the follow-up story, we were informed that many of the victims' families were filing lawsuits against the driver. Mainly elderly wives, seeking "wrongful injury/death" claims for their husbands. The first woman mentioned in the article, the widow, was suing for $4 million (I think)... $2 million to cover his medical and funeral expenses, and the loss of his income. The additional $2 million was a bit more abstract... it listed the oft used "pain and conscious suffering" of her husband, as well as her own emotional pain and suffering at his passing; it also listed characteristics of their relationship (love, compassion, support, guidance, companionship, etc. etc.) that required "compensation"...<br />I read further, and another woman <i>(whose husband is, thankfully, still alive)</i> is suing (he's petitioning also) for a few million: for pain, suffering, yadda yadda... PLUS the <i>loss of their marital relations and marital "closeness"</i>, as well as the "love, support, companionship" angle. I figure he was either physically unable to perform in bed as a result of his injuries, or else they got divorced afterward. (It didn't specify)<br />Considering these men were all "seniors" in their 60's and 70's, supposedly, I was surprised the issue of "loss of marital relations" was even an issue. I know I'm being pessimistic, but really... the whole thing absolutely blows my mind.<br /><br />I can understand the various <i>tangible</i> expenses... something you can financially record, and provide bills and statements for proof... being reimbursable. But how do you put a price tag on someone's companionship??<br />I'm not trying to sound cold-hearted; I'm not saying that these women don't deserve "something" for their loss. One would hope that their family, friends, and community would rally around them, and give the support, guidance, compassion, and so forth that they need... but perhaps they live in a society that no longer cares about their neighbors.<br /><br />However, I question two things: First of all, how do lawyers come up with justifiable numbers for priceless, abstract concepts? And secondly, why are some people worth more than others?<br />(I did a bit more online research of lawsuit articles, and found multiple cases of widows, or family, suing for similar losses, varying from $10 million, $40 million, $100 million, and upwards)<br /><br />When you wake up one morning and decide to file suit over the loss of your spouse, does your attorney provide you with a checklist?<br /><br />1. Was he/she compassionate towards you? yes/no<br />2. Did he/she provide you with financial, emotional, spiritual advice? yes/no<br />3. Did he/she speak or show their love for you regularly? yes/no<br /><br />Are you required to provide examples for the record? Do you rate his "level of compassion" on a scale?? Is that how lawyers determine that one man's "love and guidance" is worth $10 million, and the man sitting across from him is worth $40 million?<br /><i>"Why is her late husband worth more than mine?"<br />"Well, ma'am, you rated your satisfaction with his marital relations as a (4 out of 10), and Mrs. Smith rated her husband a six. That's a $2.5 million increase in losses"</i><br />*as his fingers fly furiously over the adding machine*<br /><br />I think the entire idea of claiming money for the loss of someone's company is unthinkably degrading to that person's memory. You're basically being reimbursed for their life. You might as well walk into your local retailer, stand in line at Customer Service, and demand a refund for your husband.<br /><i>"He's irreparably defective or broken, and I want my money back"<br />"Do you have a receipt for him, ma'am?"</i><br />(you hand it over)<br /><i>"Ah, yes, you purchased him 10 years ago, with a lifetime warranty (plus<br />insurance against fire, theft, and accidental death)... you put him on your<br />credit card... would you like the $4 million credited to your Visa?"</i><br /><br />I would be devastated if anything happened to Joe. It's entirely possible that I may lose him, either to health problems in the future (he's turning 50 this Friday! :), an accident, or some violence at his workplace... after all, security personnel aren't exactly the darlings of the retail world, and some of those drug-crazed, serial shoplifters carry weapons these days.<br />I can put myself in the place of these women, although I'd hate to imagine it, and understand that the shock and loss must be terrible. But will money help them? It'll pay their bills, and keep them financially secure - hopefully $4-10 million can keep an elderly woman in comfort - but it won't bring back the breakfasts in bed, or the coffee and newspaper "good mornings", and it won't bring back their compassion and concern. If these women have no neighbors or family to rely on, do they expect to PAY someone to embrace them when they need it?<br /><br />On the way home from the baby-sitter's, I heard a commercial for the local Hospice center on the radio. The musical score was upbeat and peppy (the theme was "embrace life" or something like that), and the "wife" was relating how her husband "died in peace and comfort" in his own home, surrounded by family and professional caregivers...<br />What seemed odd about the advertisement, was how happy the actress' voice sounded: she described her husband's "peaceful death" as if she were selling Serta mattresses for a restful sleep. There wasn't a hint of grief. And the lively, cheerful music was annoying. I understand they want people to think Hospice will make your last days better, and I'm sure they help, but dying isn't usually a bright, happy occasion for anyone. The commercial didn't work for me.<br /><br />But perhaps the wife had just won her lawsuit.TaraFlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06152682017660649976noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099383870769857679.post-33443593131645257362009-02-22T17:44:00.000-08:002009-02-22T18:19:44.720-08:00WWW.com - From Singles to Spies<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/SaICPDO8NdI/AAAAAAAAAAw/dnGEmsbuuTk/s1600-h/Dragonresize.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 164px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_m3wW9v65C7I/SaICPDO8NdI/AAAAAAAAAAw/dnGEmsbuuTk/s200/Dragonresize.jpg" border="0" alt="TaraFlyPhotos custom portraits - Dragon Battle"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5305805768585131474" /></a><br />I swore to myself that I would never take an online survey, knowing the result would be an e-mail inbox packed to the gills with junk mail. However, in a moment of weakness, I answered a few questions in order to get free coupons for baby diapers. I mean, c'mon folks, diapers are expensive these days; And I'm not one of those people who tears open a pack every time I do my grocery shopping! (I feel the temptation to rant about stay-at-home moms running eBay businesses with shoplifted inventory... but I think I can control myself)<br />Basically, as I waded through the monotonous questionnaire, I knew I was condemning my e-mail account to months of filtering hell. - Weight-loss vitamins, Make Thousands Using Your Own Computer, Free Credit Counseling, Government Grants -<br />What surprised me, though, was the <i>sort</i> of advertising I've been receiving.<br />I am fairly certain when providing my personal data, I declared I was a <i>female</i> in her late 20's, expecting her third child in March (the second is also still in diapers)... <i>female</i> being the key word.<br />Shortly thereafter, I began receiving eHarmony, Match.com and other dating advertisements. <br />"Okay, maybe they think I'm a single, pregnant mom... needing a man to support us all."<br /><br />Then, I received ads such as "Single Ladies in your Area Wanting to Meet You", "Russian Brides - I hope you like me", "Black Ladies Looking for Fun" What the #*&% ?" I didn't receive a single advertisement alerting me to available <i>men</i>. I don't consider myself a prejudice, sexist, homophobic person... but why on earth would they assume that I'm looking for single, local ladies of any color or foreign, mail-order brides? My state doesn't even allow same-sex marriages (or bigamy) yet... so that would be money wasted.<br /><br />Tonight's batch of junk was the frosting on my macaroni... I've been sent one suggesting that "Lonely Wives (are) Looking for Friends". Really? Curiously, I clicked on it: *ahem* *reading headlines*<br />"Married but Lonely - Search Real Cheating Wives in your area! Searching is absolutely free! Create your free Profile online! Date local wives discreetly!"<br />I thought it was some kind of joke... I mean, having once been married to a possessive jerk, I would never have the guts to post a profile (with color photo!) on a local cheater's website... yet apparently people do.<br />How is this considered dating discreetly???? I actually tried to do a search - after it revealed there were 2,400 profiles in my town alone - but as soon as the first page of profiles loaded, a huge window popped up (blocking all the pictures) insisting that I join for my free trial first. I closed the window, and left my voyeuristic nosiness unsated. Someone who's actually belonged to a site like this needs to explain how it works for me...<br />Although I'm not going to judge others for decisions they make in unfulfilled marriages (I can hardly judge!), advertising yourself online doesn't make sense to me. I live in a semi-rural area, so how anonymous can these locals truly be? <br /><br />Speaking of privacy, I was reading an article in local paper; some paranoid person was complaining about the tracking performed by Google and other search engines, and how they store your searches and visited sites for a limited time. Apparently government officials, such as the FBI, have access to all your movements online. This person mentioned that these acts are an invasion of privacy, and he stated "What if I were looking up a medical condition?... I don't want everyone<br />to know I might have cancer." <i>Everyone?</i> Some stranger at the Pentagon accidentally stumbles upon your <i>"cancer symptoms"</i> search, and now your rights are infringed upon? Do you think he/she cares enough to investigate such matters? I personally don't care whether Big Brother is watching me online. There aren't enough people working in the government right now, to track every single person online. Why do you think all these pedophiles, child-porn suppliers, terrorists, and teen-age psychos planning homicidal rampages are going unnoticed? The Internet<br />is enormous and isn't policed very well at all. <br />Actually, setting up an organization to monitor people's activities would create millions of jobs! Get everyone off welfare; and stay-at-home mothers could be spies from the comfort of their living rooms! I say: Go for it!<br /><br />Seriously, I think the FBI or whomever, <i>should</i> be investigating anyone who types in searches like <i>"how to build a nuclear weapon from kitchen ingredients"</i> or <i>"poisons that will fool a medical examiner"</i>...<br />If you're feeling guilty because you've recently joined the Local Online Cheater's Club, you should be more concerned with your soon-to-be ex-spouse's reaction should they find out, and not The Men in Black from Washington.<br />You might also cross your fingers and hope that if your husband starts Googling <i>"how to discreetly dispose of a body"</i> or <i>"making a shooting look self-inflicted"</i> ... that Someone out there is actually keeping tabs on him, and cares<br />enough to infringe on his privacy rights (in order to stop him).TaraFlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06152682017660649976noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099383870769857679.post-53697103080379203242009-02-10T05:39:00.000-08:002009-06-10T09:29:02.277-07:00Ak-mak and Good Friends<a href="http://fc92.deviantart.com/fs27/i/2008/097/2/0/Public_Restroom_by_TeachsPet.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 500px; height: 362px;" src="http://fc92.deviantart.com/fs27/i/2008/097/2/0/Public_Restroom_by_TeachsPet.jpg" border="0" alt="TaraFlyPhotos portraits and art - Public Restroom" /></a><br />Occasionally I find humor in my job. Such is the case when a new or existing product catches my attention, due to it's odd name or description.<br /><br />A few months ago, when our cereal floor-plan was re-configured and more square-footage was given to Kashi brands, I discovered the cereal called "Good Friends". The box depicts the faces of two smiling women, and it advertises the ability to provide consumers with up to 30% of their daily fiber needs.<br /><br /><img src="http://kashi.com/assets/images/products/good_friends_cereal_cinna_raisin_crunch/medium.jpg" WIDTH=240 HEIGHT=200 ALIGN=BOTTOM ALT="Good Friends cereal box image"> <br /><br /><br />Something about this cereal stumps me... why call it <i>"Good Friends"</i>? I began asking co-workers (quite innocently, mind you) if they'd "ever eaten Good Friends..."<br />A few people recognized the brand, but I mainly received confused and startled expressions - "Huh? WHAT did you say?"<br />Although nothing that ventures from my mouth should surprise anyone... "Only you" they comment with a head shake.<br />Showing them the box didn't help; the implications that come from two smiling women's faces... "They eat Good Friends every morning and feel great!"<br /><br />I decided this would be a great topic for a random street interview - I could picture myself walking up to strangers and asking:<br />-- "Have you ever eaten Good Friends? No? Well, Good Friends are extremely healthy for you...they're high in fiber" <br />-- "Hello, sir, did you know that eating Good Friends can provide you with a third of your daily fiber needs? It's true, have Good Friends for breakfast..." <br /><br />I would love to try it sometime, but I don't own a camcorder at present, and I feel the spontaneity MUST be caught on film. Perhaps Kashi should consider using the idea as a commercial... *hint, hint - folks in Kashi land*<br /><br /><br />Another product I recently examined a bit more closely was Ak-mak crackers. I had ordered them and stocked them on a regular basis without really taking the time to learn about them. I only knew they were an ethnic cracker (originating from the Middle East somewhere) and they were in the "Healthy" section - pure ingredients, no<br />preservatives.<br />One evening, I was in the stockroom, and a fellow dept. manager walked by and noticed a couple cases on the shelf. <br />"What's Ak-mak?" <br />I wanted to say it was a Klingon dessert, but I held my tongue. Some people might take offense. I told them what I knew, and then my curiosity overwhelmed me, so I opened the case and started reading the box cover. <br /><br />"Made from 100% Whole <i>of the</i> Wheat".... Whole <i>of the</i> Wheat?? Does anyone say that? <i>Why, it's a Wheat-hole!</i> <br />And thus, my new expletive was born. I can now refer to people as "wheat-holes" and sound insulting whilst still leave them scratching their heads.<br /><br />Of course, the back of the box had a picture diagram of a wheat kernel, the various parts, and stated that the manufacturer uses the entire kernel to make the wheat flour. Wouldn't that simply be called "Whole Wheat"?<br />It's probably just a glitch in the translation or something. Actually, their website is quite interesting... <a href="http://www.akmakbakeries.com/about.html">www.Akmak Bakeries.com</a> .... I'm almost tempted to buy some myself. <br /><br />I wonder if they provide as much fiber, and pleasure, as <i>eating good friends</i>??TaraFlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06152682017660649976noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099383870769857679.post-72957596697952847802009-01-31T05:54:00.000-08:002009-06-10T09:27:53.957-07:00Super Bowl Madness<a href="http://th02.deviantart.com/fs38/300W/i/2008/364/6/e/Dominus_Inferni_by_TeachsPet.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 225px;" src="http://th02.deviantart.com/fs38/300W/i/2008/364/6/e/Dominus_Inferni_by_TeachsPet.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />My adolescence was free from the influence of sporting events. In our household, there was no such thing as "The Super Bowl".<br />If you would've mentioned the letters "E.S.P.N" to my former self, my response most likely would've been:<br />"Extra sensory perception... but what's the 'N' stand for??"<br />As an adult, I understand that this is a sporting channel on TV, but I'm still unsure about the abbreviation's meaning.<br />My family members were nerds, computer geeks, and creative types (writers/artists)... I think my mother may have played<br />volleyball one year in high school, but she doesn't dwell on it. She talks more of the school band (she played flute).<br />The closest thing I came to the playing field was my stint as the school mascot. My class voted me into the position as a practical joke, because our mascot was feline and my cat-obsession was legendary!<br />I was proud to don the costume - school spirit be damned.<br /><br />To sum it up: I'm extremely unqualified to plan our grocery dept's massive assault on "Superbowl Weekend". The last few weeks, I've been relying on information from company directives and male associates. What I've determined is that "Super Bowl" is the equivalent of Thanksgiving or Christmas in some households. The hordes of folks shopping for groceries is akin to the countdown leading up to T-day. Like Sunday marks Thanksgiving II: Revenge of the Tostito.<br />Perhaps it was a joint conspiracy by Frito Lay and Pepsi Co., because they were overlooked by more traditional holidays.<br />I'm extremely surprised that the government hasn't declared it an official holiday, and calendars haven't be re-printed to include it every year. Let's give the kiddies an additional excuse to take a week off school!<br />(I missed all this excitement in my store last year... blessed maternity leave)<br /><br />Actually the similarities between Super Bowl and the two top-ranking holidays are striking!<br />At Thanksgiving/Christmas, you might serve turkey or ham.... S.B. you serve hot buffalo wings. Although according to <a href="http://www.chowhound.chow.com">www.Chowhound.chow.com</a> (motto - "for those who love to eat") some people are going crazy with their menus on "this pivotal date on your culinary calendar"...<br />One member (Dinsdale45) describes his plan to serve Clam Fritters, Baked Duck Spring Rolls, SE Asian Ceviche, Chicken Tikka Masala Meatballs, Shredded Sichuan Ma La Chicken, Bulgogi Beef tips ...among many other delicacies. Holy Guacamole!<br />I suppose Chili beans would replace the more stuffy (traditional) stuffing on the roster. Dips and salsas in lieu of cranberry sauce.<br />Cheesy potato skins win out over yams. And, of course, the beverages (although bubbling) are decidedly in favor of beer and soda, instead of wine and juice. (This is where Pepsi and Coke get their paybacks for the neglect!)<br />Family and friends from miles around gather in front of the widest-screen TV affordable to worship their favorite teams with religious fervor.<br />You might say American Football is, in fact, a new religion. It's based upon pantheons of Romanesque gods, minus the ladies, and celebrated in a great Colosseum. The fellowship of gatherers before and during The Big Game might resemble a liberal church service, with a helluva lot more swearing... there are times of songs and praise, of prayers and reflection, judgements and inspiration. You can tell a believer just by looking into their eyes, where the zealous fire burns.<br />It's all baffling to me, as a person who has only witnessed these events as a hostage in my own house. It's as if the evangelists came knocking on your door, but instead of politely turning them away, they capture you and tie you to a kitchen chair (the recliner's theirs, baby!) and force you to hear the message. I don't understand the obsession with watching groups of men running a few yards back and forth across the grass, and tackling each other in mobs - causing injury - over a stuffed pigskin.<br />Others don't understand my obsession with cats, either, but I don't host huge Cat Celebrations every year and drive the grocery manager nuts.<br />Perhaps I should!<br />Fortunately my current partner is a computer geek, like my family, so he doesn't subject me to this craziness. I wonder how he would react to an upcoming Cat Celebration? LOL<br /><br />A woman came into the store a week ago, and inquired about the location of a giant jar of salsa. I showed her where it was, and she thanked me in a manner quite unusual: "Bless you, dear! This was exactly what I was looking for!"<br />I wasn't sure if it was the beginning of Super Bowl fever, or perhaps the afterglow of Obama's inauguration, which made her so jubilant.<br /><br />All I can wonder is, should I begin planning displays of weight-loss ideas (like we did for New Years) for those who gorged themselves over the weekend on Chicken Tikka Masala Meatballs and cheesy potato skins?TaraFlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06152682017660649976noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099383870769857679.post-37203938600039836812009-01-18T09:47:00.000-08:002009-01-18T09:59:59.015-08:00Water Aisle Discovery<a href="http://fc62.deviantart.com/fs28/f/2008/152/1/c/1c9d29d86eb8a0ea9e9d56dcae270014.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 522px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 311px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="TaraFly's original artwork - Clean Up in Water Aisle" src="http://fc62.deviantart.com/fs28/f/2008/152/1/c/1c9d29d86eb8a0ea9e9d56dcae270014.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />I'm currently* employed full-time as a grocery manager in a large retail supercenter.... not going to mention which one, as corporate spies most likely scour the Internet daily looking for employees bad-mouthing their company. People who've protested too loudly have often disappeared under suspicious circumstances.<br />The men in grey suits (who carry out these nefarious commands) are paid extremely high salaries to buy their loyalty and silence concerning such matters.<br /><br />(*Currently - refers to my tentative plan to change my work schedule, or quit altogether, upon the arrival of my third and last spawn. The cost of daycare even now is eating us alive, up to the knees at this point).<br /><br />I will however miss the occasional occurrences at work that make great stories for re-telling. I will have to make-do, I suppose, with stories that Joe brings home and live vicariously through him. One such incident happened to me last night...<br /><br />First of all...<br />People are always leaving merchandise on the wrong shelves, after walking two aisles over and deciding they no longer want the item. Or else, they come into the store with coffee or soda, and leave a half-empty cup behind. Our numerous trash receptacles have a habit of becoming invisible when customers look for them.<br />It doesn't usually bother me, unless they grab a perishable item, like meat dripping in juice or a carton of ice-cream, and lay it down in the cereal aisle... laziness is one thing, but wasting products on purpose is another. Especially when I have to throw away a couple boxes of cereal also, because they were covered in chicken juice or melted ice-cream leaking from it's container. I mean, seriously folks, don't make me give you a lecture ....<br />Other people (the dishonest sorts) steal parts of an item, and leave the rest on the shelf.... a single can from a 12-pack of soda for instance. Like, who wants to drink a warm soda anyway? Unless they're patient enough to wait until they get home to chill it? ... or the industrious types who go to the paper-goods area - steal a cup from a pack, and then head over to the ice-machine and break open a bag for a couple cubes?? There you go. Help yourself.<br /><br />I've seen some strange things done by thieves, a few of them fairly ingenious actually. And my husband could tell many more stories, as the head of store security for the same company (we work in different locations, though).<br /><br />What happened to me last night, however, still boggles my mind. As a mother. As a self-respecting human being.<br /><br />I was helping my two stockers yesterday by refilling the sparkling, flavored water aisle... which was wiped out by customers panicked over our recent reports of snow showers (no accumulation, though). God knows, when the flakes begin to fall, everyone needs sparkling black-cherry flavored water... oh, and 10 gallons of milk. Enough to last 3 weeks or more, in case our homes are buried in a freak eight-foot blizzard, like... back in... oh, you know, remember? The last time everyone was snowed-in for almost a month? What <i>year</i> was that? <i>1832 ?</i><br />It doesn't help that our company is trying to tighten expenses and operate with less staffing. So the aisles were bare, and my two stockers and I were working furiously to provide these poor saps with their flavored water before it was too late....<br />I barely noticed a jumbo pack of diapers sitting on the shelf. Actually, it registered in the back of my mind... it appeared unopened, and I made a mental note to return it to the Infants Aisle (30 feet away) when I finished my cart of water. I continued farther down the aisle, and made The Discovery. A lone diaper lying on the shelf, beside the liter bottles of kiwi-strawberry. A diaper... a used one... smelly and heavy... semi-rolled up... just sitting there like it belonged.<br />(20 feet away, at the end of this very aisle, was one of those invisible trash cans) I remembered the diaper pack, and checked it again. Sure enough, it <i>had</i> been opened (and a diaper removed), and the discreet mother (or father) laid it back down so the hole was covered. <i>Didn't want anyone to realize you stole a<br />diaper, did you? You stood there, in the middle of the water aisle, and changed your child's dirty butt, and laid the waste on the shelf...</i><br />We do have changing stations in our restrooms, so they had the option of drawing less attention to themselves. And being respectful of other shoppers... I doubt others would want to buy their precious kiwi-strawberry water, 10-foot blizzard or not, when they might be contaminated by the smelly diaper sitting 3 inches in<br />front of them.<br />I understand the economy is suffering, and prices are sky-rocketing. I get blamed every day for raising prices. People are hostile with me, when I'm changing signs - as if I personally want to inflate the price of canned peas by 10 cents. Do you think I recoup that money myself? Does my pay increase with every can<br />sold? <b>Absolutely!!</b> (not).<br />Although I don't condone theft, I can understand a suffering family who can't afford to buy a pack of diapers (perhaps until pay day)... and suddenly the worst scenario happens, and your child poops his pants in the store, and you need a diaper. He's crying. He's uncomfortable and he stinks. And the more he cries and<br />stinks, the worse it reflects on you - bad parent - for not being able to provide for him. So you take a diaper to ease your guilt and his pains. I'll forgive you.<br />But for God's sake, don't show your ignorant upbringing by leaving your garbage on the shelf for others to clean up. And if you did it out of spite, to "get-back" at the store that robbed you with it's high prices, there are better ways than by embarrassing yourself.<br /><br />I decided to mention this incident to my assistant manager, and fortunately I found him sitting at his desk - on lunch break - eating a roast beef sandwich from Subway. I said, "I have something to tell you. It's kind of gross, but pretty amusing, actually. Keep eating."<br />As I regaled the story to him in every possible detail, making him experience the event firsthand with my words, I got a strange satisfaction watching him choke on his mouthful of food. And when I mentioned that the entire aisle now smells like a baby's poopy diaper, and how nauseating it is... I paused and asked politely,<br /><br />"So, how's the sandwich? I hear Subway makes a mean roast beef."<br /><br />Let this be a lesson to all of the dishonest, or disrespectful, customers out there. If you come into my store and make a fool of yourself, you might find yourself the subject of an embarrassing rant on an Internet blog... I'll catch you, my pretty. And your stinky baby too. :)TaraFlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06152682017660649976noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8099383870769857679.post-73774432675863042492009-01-13T12:38:00.000-08:002009-01-18T10:01:16.319-08:00Introductions<a href="http://www.foundmyself.com/gallery/albums/userpics/13280/bio1resize.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: center; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 500px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 335px" alt="TaraFly's original artwork, taraflyphotos.com" src="http://www.foundmyself.com/gallery/albums/userpics/13280/bio1resize.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div>I'm not sure who said the famous line, "You only get one chance to make a great first impression" but that individual is solely responsible for millions of empty blogs and personal websites... people want to share themselves with the world, but after all the initial set-up is completed, they are left staring at a blank, white message block and a paralyzing fear of portraying themselves in the wrong light with their opening paragraph.<br /><br />I, however, have finally conquered that fear... roughly three days after creating this account, and as you can see, am already in the midst of my SECOND paragraph. Making it to the final paragraph, though, will require a bit more effort and exploration into what makes a good introduction.<br /><br />What should you know about me, then? Well, I could begin by sharing with you a few secrets from my childhood... such as, my first crush (in kindergarten) was for a rat. Many people have had crushes on rats, but mine was of the rodent variety... he was tall and suave, with melting brown eyes and a shy, sexy smile. His name was Justin; brave and adventurous, he fought well with a sword defending his lady's honor, and held the title of Guard Captain. Obviously, he was also a fictional character from a feature-length animation.<br />I carried a torch for Justin for a long time, but finally had to acknowledge that my love was unrequited and in vain. For his heart was smitten by Jonathon Brisby's lovely mouse widow; biologically and artistically, I had<br />to concede they were much better suited for one another.<br />Fortunately my broken heart was mended by my next suitor, a stuffed alley cat I named Stinkpin. Yes, I did write "stuffed", as in sewn with batting, not overfed on garbage or taxidermied.<br />He actually returned my affections, and offered to marry me. I was told by my patient grandmother that I needed to get my father's permission before the wedding, but alas, I knew he wouldn't approve. So Stinkpin and I eloped. Hmmm, it's a wonder the courthouse didn't discover that hasty decision when I applied for another marriage years later. It could possibly be that all of my marriages henceforth have been invalid... although since he did abandon me some time later for parts unknown, it's conceivable I would be granted an annulment.<br /><br />As any psychiatrist could determine from reading these last paragraphs, my difficulties acquiring and maintaining a normal romantic relationship have been troubled since my earliest years. Why is it, throughout my life, I've always seemed drawn to the rats and the strays?<br />My current marriage in progress is surprisingly going well... at the two year mark, which formerly has been the death knoll of my waning commitment, I feel we are stronger than ever.<br />I cannot allow myself much optimism, however, because I cursed my future self in the 3rd grade....<br /><br />Giving a dramatic monologue recitation for a panel of judges, one of them wrote on his sheet that I could become "the next Elizabeth Taylor". My parents seem to take great delight at the compliment, but as an eight-year-old child with little knowledge of Ms. Taylor's great cinematic achievements, I could only reply matter-of-factly: "He just meant that I'm going to have 8 husbands when I grow up."<br />See, dear readers! I doomed myself to a life of ill-commitment and love affairs. As much as I would love to protest that I was mistaken, and that my current prince will be the last... it would be a foolish fantasy.<br />The silver lining to all this madness, is that he is turning 50 this year, so perhaps we can have a wonderful marriage while he lives... and once he passes, when I'm sixty or so, I'll squeeze in the remaining 5 husbands<br />in rapid succession. If I continue this tradition of dating men 20 years my senior, it shouldn't be too difficult to marry and bury five men in their late 80's.<br /><br />Although these musings wouldn't likely be considered the most appropriate introduction into a person's character, it has served it's intended purpose... getting past the blank page, to a point where I can safely say... this is the final paragraph in my first blog! From this point on, impressions having been made, I can easily fill the remaining<br />pages with my odd thoughts and ramblings. I generally leave my shoes off; they're under the table now, so feel free to put them on and take a walk into my world. </div>TaraFlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06152682017660649976noreply@blogger.com0